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Where did we come from?[]

There comes a point in one’s Dofus life when you need to consider homing all those alts you’ve stacked up over the years… No, no, that’s not right… What I mean is, we love a good power trip as much as the next person… Hang on a second…

This is a silly section.  We could be a group of Scottish window cleaners for all you care.  All I mean is, where we’re from is not nearly as important as where we’re going – or, at least, where we hope we’re going.

All you need to know is we’re new, but we’re not new new… I hope that clears things up.

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So, what are we like?[]

I think I speak for everyone here at Alchemy when I say we’re massive fans of DURAN DURAN.  We dance in laundrettes in our spare time, prefer even numbers and only eat fish.

But in all seriousness, we’re just like you.  We’ve been playing Dofus for a while, and we love a challenge.  We consist of the loud and messy, the quiet (yet sinister), and the downright bizarre.  We are (for the most part) an English-speaking guild, and our members span both genders, various nationalities and a multitude of sexualities (since there are so many these days).  With so much variety, there’s bound to be someone you like, right?

When we’re not spamming /g with filthy jokes, you can find us (almost sensibly) running dungeons, scouring markets, questing, crafting and crying at 5,7 because being normal is so exhausting.

This section also went downhill fairly quickly…  Don’t worry, I do (try to) clarify a few things below.

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Rights, ranks and all that admin stuff[]

So we’re not all that fussed about rights and ranks.  If you like the sound of a rank, you can generally have it.  If you’ve been with us a while and would like to start using percs or managing your own exp contribution, be our guest.

Generally only the leader and SiCs will have all rights.  We like to make SiCs fairly exclusive, so only those who have demonstrated loyalty and all-round  top banana-ness (or have otherwise sent us naughty pictures) will ever get it.  New members will remain on trial for a few days – provided we don’t lose track – after which there’ll be assigned a fitting rank (for the most part, Nuisance).  All members will be set to 5% exp contribution (90% at 200), which can be altered upon request.

We don’t take this stuff too seriously.  We expect loyalty and reward it well.  If I have to explain our leadership style in a sentence, it would be: ordered, but not in that shout-loudly-from-two-inches-away, spit-covered-monobrow sort of way.

Hey!  This section is almost helpful!

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What do we look for in our members?[]

You’re probably tired of reading a bunch of sentences strung together without any line breaks… I forget what those things are called again.  So, here, have some pretty bullets:

·         Activity – It goes without saying that we expect our members to be online fairly frequently.  “But what if I want to take a short break?” – you can’t.  EVER.  No but seriously, just let us know if you plan on taking a break so we know what’s up.

·         Loyalty – This is a biggy for us.  We don’t like to be taken for a ride.  We’re nice people, and we respect our members, so we expect the same courtesy in return.  Loyalty is the gateway to bountiful rights and shiny ranks, too!

·         Integrity – Don’t be the guy who’s always asking for kamas, gear, leeching or sexual favours (actually, that last one’s fine) in /g.  While we do love to help our members, we aren’t a charity.  No guild likes their chat filled with penniless jibber-jabber, and we’re no different.

·         Sense of humour – I may have alluded (only about a million times already) to the fact that our guild chat is often a bit salacious.  The majority of our members are over 18, so we expect our members to have a good sense of humour and be fairly difficult to offend.  We do talk about other stuff, too – I promise.

·         Australian accents – So this isn’t a mandatory one, but every guild needs someone to pick on.

·         Feet with extremely large little toes – We also accept hairy toes in place of large ones.

·         Pokemon tattoos – Because nothing quite says “I’m extremely sexually experienced and a pleasant, sane person all-round” like Tangela eyes in your pubic hair.

·         And a bunch of other stuff – You know, all that nice-guy, helpful, well-spoken, experienced and attractive (not the my-mother-once-called-me-handsome attractive, but the Angelina-Jolie-keeps-a-cut-out-of-me-above-her-bathroom-sink, real-deal attractive) stuff.

Our minimum level requirement at the mo is 190.

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A quick note on Alliances before we go…[]

We lead the Alliance Piwin [Piwi].  It goes without saying that members will not attack the percs of any guilds who also belong to Piwin, or any Piwin prisms, on any of their characters.

Rights to speak in the Alliance channel are decided on a case-by-case basis.

[Piwin] was disbanded on 09/10/2015.  Alchemy does not currently belong to an Alliance.

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You had me at hello – how do I join?[]

Wait, really?  You’re serious?  You really want to join?  Well that was unexpected – you must be the real deal!

Contact GrenadierSinonaFentonOtsuNitram or Vahe in-game.

We look forward to seeing you in-game!

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Psst...[]

Check out our recruitment thread on the Imps Village forums!

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